Seventy-six Trombones

I am right now listening to an old mix that I made for someone. Yes it was for a girl. I came across it in my CD collection, unlabelled, just sitting there. Wondering what it was I popped it in my computer and pressed play. I knew immediately, by the first song, who I had made it for. Before you start wondering why I have this mix, I often make two copies. Most often this is not so i can have a copy, but because there are often two slightly different versions made. Many a time I think of a perfect song a couple of hours after burning, and since I am an anal music snob, I feel a great need to remake the mix.

Many of the songs present were particular favorites at the time I made it, about two years ago. I haven't listened to most of them in over a year. Its strange I feel no real nostalgia for the person I made this for, but for the songs I have a deep happiness. This does not always happen. For instance, I have a couple of mixes from a relationship long past that I will not even listen to out of fear for the memories they may conjure, of times too good and too bad to be placed in any actual reality.

I often contemplate bringing these things back into my life. They are, after all, as representative of me as of another person. And even the image these mixes present of that other person is my representation of them to me.

I love this song. Currently listening to: Grandaddy - Now it's on

Well my grades are in

I have come to the conclusion that I totally suck. My grades came in and I got an A- and two B+'s. That's right, all shit half grades, which I probably deserved. Why? Because I do a lot of nothing everyday. And my schoolwork suffers. So I am becoming a Monk. I'm shutting myself in my room for the next year and a half. Do not try to contact me. I need to bring it up to a 3.8, Which means I need A's in all of my other classes. Not A-'s, A's. I can't help but shake the feeling that I am however still a failure, yet I know I'm smarter than my grade reflect I just need to get my ass to work.

/end self-loathing, self-deprication.

I am procrastinating

So I have a ton of work to do. A ton. I have to write fifty+ pages in the next 9 days. Number written so far 0. That is approximately 5 pages per day for those of you keeping up. Fifty is the low end by the way. So I'm postinf here instead to ask myself, why do I procrastinate so much? well the reason is two fold as far as I can tell.

1st: I have no desire to write the paper that is due on thursday. Its the shortest paper and also the most boring. I don't even like the class that much. Stupid Hegel.

2nd: I seem to reach the height isnpiration the more furiously close to a due date I become. I simply have crap ideas up until the last four days or so of the writing process. And four days is if I'm lucky.

So here I am posting a blog. I promised by one'clock I'd start reading so I can write. So I'm off. One last word of wisdom:

Winter Album of the moment: El-P, Collecting the Kid. Peep.