I cannot believe I haven't updated since I've been in Chicago. Oh well. I'm just reading Nick's blog and suddenly the angsty feeling I was going to write about has somewhat left me. It's after three in the morning. I'm up for no good reason. I did nothing today. but I have kick-ass friends who sometimes inadvertantly remind me that is a lot of good stuff in the world. Like the Inotnation festival I went to this weekend. Diplo is the best DJ ever. Ever. Ever-ever? Ever-ever. I danced my ass off. (If you could call any movements I could make to be near the realm of "dance")

Earlier this weekend Nick and I got drunk, called a bunch of people(including Katie fitz I believe one-thousand times. And called her mean names. Sorry, but you said you were coming out.), got burritos, watched chris rock and went to bed early. Others joined us, but it was mainly a nick and neil ride as far as I can tell. When we got home there was a married woman in the dining room. Go figure.

My mother gave me the number of someone who she works with's daughter who teaches up here. Um so I looked her up on friendster, which she was on, and I have no idea why my mother thinks I might ever on any world get along with this person. A.) she listens to Dave Mathews B.) She listens to Guster C.) She listens to Ben Harper
(Sorry PJ but you're my quotient on people who listen to those bands.) D.) She lives in Lincoln Park I'm pretty sure. And hangs out with it seems the kind of guy who pops his collar and who you want to beat the shit out of when he's screaming about being sweet at the top of his lungs on Lincoln Ave at 2:30 AM. (Don't get me wrong I'll yell about how sweet I am, but not on Lincoln Ave.)(As Dan said on Saturday night, "If I could have a super power, it'd be 'the ability to beat the shit out of chuds in Lincoln Park without getting hurt'.") Oh well I already said I'd call them. Evidently my mother's friend asked her daughter if she'd like to meet me. She said sure, not that she's really that excited either, but i know I'll be asked about it later and if I lie my mom'll ask her friend etc etc etc. So I guess I'll do it. If I get drunk it can't be worse than those girls from fucking iowa we talked to on friday. Anyone want to join me? I've made it fairly appetizing so far I know.

Mood: reading more, masturbating less.

I'm listening to Stars- Set yourself on fire right now. I recommend it highly. I'm out.

One of the things reasons I came back to Cincinnati this past week was because I had to clean out my closet (literally, to go with the figurative one I've been trying to do for the past three or four months.) I found all these nice little things from my friends from over the years, many from a long time ago. People seemed to remember me as having rough exterior, but an easily found downy soft center. That's how I always kind of thought of myself as well, but lately I've been wondering if thats really who I've become. I think the basic components are still there, but I think the armour may be getting a bit thick these days. I can't really put my finger on why. I'm hoping to god that its because I was unhappy in texas (tejas as no-one from texas actually says) and not some horribly permenant or semipermenant condition that I've established for myself. Reading all of these little things made me miss who I was. I now know that John Cusak's character in "Say Anything" was Loyd Dobler thanks to Beth Tull. I remember that Tara used to constantly translate things into French that I couldn't understand. I remember that PJ has held me in way too high esteem for way too long now. And Adrianne's bosses used to be Tim and Debi and she used to listen to me(thank god she got over that).
But anyway the point is (I don't really have one but I'm going to attempt to sum it up.) I'm still listening to "sewn up" like a madman and being all introspective and shit. Maybe I need to "walk the earth." Maybe I'm just overthinking everything, maybe I'm just an asshole.